The Hangover Chronicles – Part VIII – The Shrinkage

10 hours of driving, 24 beers, and a sore rotator cuff from too much cornhole is what this weekend consisted of. I finally made the trip out to Virginia Beach again over the weekend for the annual Memorial Day Weekend Tiki Bar Alcohol Extravaganza at William Foss’ place. He was quite the host, providing all of us with a plethora of activities including a pool, hot tub, tiki bar, cornhole, food, and beer. It was good to see the rest of the contributors minus Nick who has yet to provide an excuse for not showing up.

I got in kind of late Friday night, but made up for lost time by guzzling beers into a forgetful state. I was quite hung over Saturday morning, but I did not let that deter me for long. Saturday consisted of all day drinking along with me not winning one game of cornhole for 5 straight hours, at least 15 games, and 3 different partners. Call me unlucky, call my teammates shitty, call me whatever you want, but I refuse to believe that I am THAT bad at that game. I am beast at beer pong and…. whatever I need to stop getting mad over that.  Since we started drinking so early on Saturday it seemed like it took me 100 beers to get drunk. By midnight I was just so tired of drinking that I needed to pass out.

Sunday morning I had a pretty bad headache so I manned up once again to try and cure my hangover. Some say a cold shower helps sober you up or can cure a hangover so I got my ass up and walked outside and did a cannonball into the freezing ass pool. I stayed in the pool for a good 10 minutes fighting hypothermia and staying underwater as much as possible. I could not stop thinking about how cold the water was and at that point I couldn’t feel my hangover. I got out of the pool and wrapped myself in a towel and warmed myself up and my headache started to come back!?! Now how does cold water take your headache away? Then I realized that I don’t think my headache went away, it was just masked by my body being cold and me thinking about how cold the damn water was.

Results: I don’t think a cold shower, jumping in a cold pool, or any body of water for that matter is a feasible solution to a hangover. Yes it can trick your body to focusing itself on the temperature of the water over the pain of a headache or nausea, but if you plan on staying in cold water long enough for your hangover to go away, you better plan on dying of hypothermia. Yet another painful remedy down and infinity to go.

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14 thoughts on “The Hangover Chronicles – Part VIII – The Shrinkage

  1. I agree, the cold shower/pool probably has to be combined with some type of pain reliever medicine. Perhaps pop a few Advil and jump in the pool until the Advil has a chance to kick in…

    Great weekend…

  2. well friday night i got hammered down there and didnt get any sleep thanks to one named Patrick Thornhill. So my ass was up at 9, and everyone that knows me, knows that that is like a stake through my heart. i had a wicked hangover, but the first thing i did when i woke up was take a BC power (this came from a previous hangover chronicle) and jumped in the pool a few times. I was more tired than anything after that, but i made it through the day. so it worked for me.

  3. Mr. Brown reason why i was not in attendance was due to heading to ATL to inform my parents that they would be grandparents. So a new addition to the brauninger and idrinksport family is why i was not there. Pretty good reason eh?

  4. How about a simple email? it would have went like this.

    Hey Grandma,

    Hope you have a great weekend.

    Love you xoxoxoxoxo

    She would have got the hint when you said grandma

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