Dear Maintown,
I have a dilemma with a friend and I need some advice. I am a big sports fan and so is my friend except we both like different sports. I like football, basketball, and baseball. He likes NASCAR, badminton, and synchronized swimming. I only think that it is fair for me to sit and watch his events with him because he painfully sits through the games I watch. This is really agonizing for me to do, but I have to because he is a good friend of mine, but watching them makes me question my sanity. What can I do to keep these games interesting while I watch them?
Sincerely,
Troubled in NC
First thing first. Kick your friend in the balls to see if he flinches, cause I highly doubt he will. My friend, those are not sports. Those are games… hobbies if you will. Something to occupy the time. Second thing, I’d kick you in the balls. Why would you put yourself through something like that? I don’t give a shit if it’s your mom. A man should not have to put himself through such traumatic events as those.
Nascar. It’s not even a sport where men compete against one another, its guys driving around in circles for 4 hours pissing on themselves to see who can push the pedal harder for longer. I have no respect for someone that gets paid to use all that gas, cause I could do the same damn thing, and NOT in circles. Oh yeah.
Badminton and synchronized swimming. I’m not gonna waste a lot of time on either of these. Either your friend is more than a friend, or it’s a she-male. Might wanna check on that. There’d be no worse surprise than to find out your friend has been tucking his sack back as long as you’ve known him, I mean I’m sure worse things could happen but I’d say that’s pretty bad.
If this is a good friend, I guess my best advice would be to get him a 13” standard definition TV with basic cable and put it in his damn room and just point there if he tried to turn the TV in the living room. My worst advice? Buy him a fairy costume and wrap it with Hello Kitty wrapping paper and say happy birthday homo.
Good luck with your roommate, I really hope that this situation resolves itself in such a way that is hilarious, cause just responding to this question had me questioning if we had our first female post a mailbag question to me.
Maintown
This joint had me laughing. Who the hell watches those sports and who the hell can be friend with them? lol but screw it, had me laughing and this friend of that dude has got to be one of them dudes that blows up a post office, be careful with who ya friends, might end up with a damn bullet in ya head
The only reason a man should be watching badminton is if he is on the beach drinking beer and watching other women play. Of course if you are single, and are able to do it knock your self out. Funny stuff there manyells, keep it up
Haha
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