Disturbing Trend: A Growing Pandemic facing Men Aged 10 to 80 in Sports Bars

There is a real issue facing American Men aged 10 to 80 and it isn’t ISIS, Ebola, Heart Failure or Prostate Cancer.  It may not even be on the CDC radar but it tops my list at number 1.  The biggest issue facing American Men is the growing trend of Soccer being overplayed and overvalued at our local sports bars, and it’s ripping our very souls from us.  (see my full rankings below story)

It was a cold wet night on the East Coast when I decided to see firsthand how this pandemic has crippled a otherwise unknowing society.  I walked into a local Buffalo Wild Wings where all seemed well.  There were the usual kids playing Pop-A-Shot or Deer Hunter while waiting for their parents to finish their 4th drink so they could leave.  I also noticed many kids playing on tablets while their parents ate ungodly amounts of overpriced wings.  I didn’t really think anything out of the ordinary was going on until I surveyed the area a bit further and found that 5 out of the 8 projectors in the building were playing Soccer and that no one was upset by this.  This wasn’t the Wold Cup or Olympic Soccer…heck it wasn’t even the girly Premier League that NBC has been trying unsuccessfully to push on us…it was meaningless third world country Double A type soccer.  My Knees almost buckled at that moment.  Luckily I was sitting my Fat American Ass on a bar stool or that could have been ugly.

There used to be a pride with this country, that we would help our sick and poor…those who couldn’t fight back we would stand up for.  The country I knew growing up had standards and ideals, we didn’t just allow people to get away with things.  I sat there watching all of these American Males not do anything about meaningless soccer being displayed on the beautiful gifts China gave us (known as Projectors and Big Screen TV’s).  There isn’t enough SMDH’s in the world to express my anguish that night.

There are certain points in life where you pick a cause that you have to stand up for.  Some people pick Gay Marriage, Marijuana Legalization, Equal Pay, fighting Cancer or Ebola…well I’m picking a fight far less important than those but it’s still important.  The cause I’m choosing to stand up for is M.A.V.S., or Men Against Viewing Soccer.

I’ll keep you updated on my journey.

Hole’s Rankings of issues facing Men in America that the CDC missed

  1. Soccer being played in sports bars outside of the Legal every 2 year allowance during World Cup or Olympics
  2. Beer price inflation. (Getting 18 beers in a case rather than the old 20 while price stays same or goes up)
  3. Colonoscopy visits
  4. Gender friendly Baby Showers
  5. Any Event during a major sporting event where there is no television
  6. The Yumbo
  7. Dogs
  8. Standard Definition Television
  9. Getting warm food at Sonic. That shit always gets cold so fast.  Sonic should really rethink their business mission, they could provide that service to do some good, like keeping my beer colder for longer.
  10. Skip Bayless

Failed experiment

How many times have you found yourself trying to find out when the next soccer game is on TV?  If the answer is zero, you must be living in the USA and therefore hate seeing grown men flop around on a field.  The media continues to hype Beckham and his latest return to the MLS, and guess what?  His own fans can’t stand the guy.  If hardcore soccer dopes in the USA don’t like em, how the hell is the Beckham experiment ever going to work?  Please end it now so we don’t ever have to hear him talk again.

Check this out, a great read on cnn…


UPDATED 5:26pm: Check out this video…lol got to love the interviews at the end… CLICK HERE